I’ve been dating this guy for about two weeks and I really like him. We haven’t had sex yet. He just told me he is HIV-positive. What should I do?

Answer:

Negotiating safer sex boundaries is essential regardless of one’s HIV status, particularly since someone’s claims to be negative of any STD may not be accurate. With this knowledge of your new guy’s POZ status, you now have personal power to make an informed decision. Examine your vision for what you need and want in a relationship and a partner. Become educated about HIV and the realities of what it would mean to be in a relationship with someone Positive. Does this match your vision? All relationships have challenges; some guys are able to embrace those inherent to differing HIV statuses, while others feel too much anxiety and distraction about the risks to be fully uninhibited with their partner. It all comes down to your values and lifestyle preferences. Education about the potential risks and how to minimize them and open, honest communication with one’s partner are the keys to promoting the success of these types of relationships. Make the decision that’s right for you and that’ll promote your quality of life ultimately.

(c) 2006 Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

This posting contains my response to advice column questions posed by Planet Out/Gay.com in 11/06 for a contest they were running.

The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

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