Introduction

One of the most common concerns that come through my service from gay singles is the difficulty they speak of securing dates with quality and compatible men; and sometimes it’s even just landing a date of any kind! Invitations for sex seem more readily accessible and the frustration and disappointment is the predominant emotion experienced by these relationship-minded singles who have good heads on their shoulders and are ready and available for love, but just can’t seem to find others who mirror their desire for substance and depth in their involvements. read more >>

Introduction

When you have an online dating personals ad, much of the initial communication and interaction that you will have with a potential dating prospect is primarily through the written word—mainly via e-mail or online chatting. As our society continues to embrace technology as a preferred mode of communication, the traditional “courtship” process has been forever altered when it comes to getting to know someone for potential dating. The lack of face-to-face contact in the very beginning and early stages of online dating can be advantageous as a relatively safe screening period to determine possible compatibility before moving ahead to the more vulnerable direct in-person contact. This can save a lot of time and energy and aids in boosting confidence about meeting someone new. However, it’s also a very impersonal mode of communication fraught with many missing elements that can make this screening process more challenging. For example, the inability to read body language is a major obstacle, as is the difficulty in being able to gauge whether any actual physical chemistry exists between the two people. read more >>

Introduction

So now you’ve met a new guy who you really like and you both are eager to begin exploring the potential that exists in your new dating relationship. This is commonly called “the honeymoon phase” of a relationship and is definitely an exciting and invigorating time. It’s a time of aliveness where the attraction you have for your new boyfriend prospect bubbles over, causing you to think about him and wanting to be with him every waking second. The separation pangs when you are apart nag at you and distract you from your daily tasks. You ache to be with him and find yourself preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of what “could be” that fuel your desire even further. read more >>

Dating a Guy with a Lot of Notches on His Bedpost

Question: I’ve been single for a while now, mostly because I’m choosy. However, one of my friends introduced me to a friend of his, and we really hit it off. He’s everything I want—smart, funny, charming—and it’s also the most amazing sex I’ve ever had. The bad new is this: As I continue to get to know him, it’s become clear to me that he has slept with just about everybody I know. Look, I don’t want to pass judgment on that, but I have to be honest, there’s a part of me that feels like he’s a total slut. The good news is he says he’s really into me, has acknowledged his past, and says he wants to be monogamous with me. I really want to get behind that and trust him, but am wondering how I am going to get past this, you know? read more >>

Moving Beyond Online Chatting

So you’ve more than likely been chatting it up online with a potential dating prospect that you’ve met through your personals ad and perhaps even progressed to talking a bit on the telephone. It is generally best practice to gradually move from email correspondence or online chatting to actually speaking “live” on the telephone before meeting in-person for the first time. This gets the acquaintanceship started at a reasonably good pace and allows you to learn more about each other through written and verbal words before taking the plunge to meet face-to-face, which for most people is the more vulnerable and nerve-wracking scenario. Take time to glean the information you receive about this new man through all your modes of communication you’ve had with each other before deciding whether he meets your compatibility criteria to even proceed with a physical meeting. This will help to save much time and energy in your quest for a good first date material. read more >>

Hope for a Gay Dad?

Question: I have recently joined a dating site but I’m not sure if my profile is an eye-catcher. I was married to a woman for a number of years and I have never had sex with a man. I’m now a single dad and have gone on a couple of dates but they always end the same way. They find out I have kids and they can’t seem to get away fast enough. My children are the most important thing to me and if it means being single the rest of my life, then so be it. But I can’t believe all gay guys don’t want kids. Am I doomed to singlehood? read more >>

Can Two Tops Date?

Question: I met someone recently and the attraction was immediate. He’s amazing, and we also have everything in common—we just look at each other googley-eyed all the time. We’ve messed around a few times already and it’s so passionate. But here’s the problem: we’re both tops. And I don’t mean versatile tops, I mean we’re both 100% tops-tops. We’ve talked about this, but the issue does seem to have put up some sort of barrier between us. See, for now, it’s fine and it’s not a big deal. But if this relationship actually goes somewhere, which I think it might, this could become a really big deal. Do I end this now, or do I stick with it and try to work it out. And how the heck do I work this out? read more >>

Welcome to The Dating Fitness Center! You’ve made a very wise decision by enrolling in our dating wellness club because you have now joined an exclusive membership with other relationship-minded singles. Here, you recognize that being single is an opportunity and that before you can really appreciate and thrive in a committed relationship with a life partner, you must first be solid and grounded yourself. This means that you’ve done the necessary work and are continually committed to the process of developing and actualizing yourself into your true potential. The ultimate outcome is that you lead a full life of purpose and passion and view yourself as a healthy and happy single. Through this personal growth process, you are maximizing your chances for attracting and sustaining fulfilling relationships with similar dating partners. Remember that according to “The Law of Attraction”, like attracts like. The more your life and self-esteem are in order, the greater your chances are that you will draw other dating prospects toward you that have also achieved a comparable level of well-being and “fitness.” read more >>

When you’re dating someone, it’s very important to always be on alert to determine if you and he are compatible for the potential for a long-term relationship. This screening process should be done before and throughout the pre-commitment phase of the relationship. By gauging your goodness-of-fit early on in your dating relationship, you’ll either be laying the foundation for a bond of trust and intimacy or you’ll be disengaging from further connection before becoming too emotionally invested. It’s critical to discover this information as early on in your dating as possible to avoid becoming overly-attached and developing expectations that would likely lead to disappointment and grief. read more >>

I’ve been dating this guy for about two weeks and I really like him. We haven’t had sex yet. He just told me he is HIV-positive. What should I do? read more >>