The decision to reconcile with an ex-boyfriend is one that requires much forethought. A breakup with him occurred previously for a reason and you want to avoid re-enacting old patterns and dynamics by jumping back in too quickly or when the decision is emotionally-driven. This is something that involves a lot of individual reflection, as well as pointed communication with your ex.

One of the questions you want to ask yourself is “Why do I want to get back with him? Why now?” It’s important to explore your motives for wanting to reconnect to ensure they are healthy and pure. If you both have grown personally and made some changes that have strengthened your maturity and responsibility, that might be a positive indicator to consider the situation further. If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety about being alone, or fear not being able to find another partner, these would be deemed unhealthy reasons and would be indicative of potentially setting yourselves up to get hurt again. “Am I truly into him or the idea of being with him?” You want to be truly honest with yourself about what lies beneath your desire to get back together.

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/should-i-get-back-with-my-ex

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Another common gay dating dilemma revolves around whether to have sex on the first date or not. This has often been a controversial subject among gay men, with opinions being  split right down the middle. There’s not necessarily a right or wrong answer, as these types of scenarios are rarely ever black-and-white. The decision as to whether to “hit the sheets” after having had a superb first date before the night is over is a personal one, fraught with uncertainty about the impact that being intimate so soon after meeting can have on the potential for securing a second date and beyond. Before reaching that point-of-no-return, it’s important to conduct an evaluation or a cost/benefit analysis of both the positive and negative ramifications of such an action. It’s also important to weigh this dilemma against your personal values system and to determine if being sexual early in the game is in alignment with your vision of what you’re looking for.

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/should-you-have-sex-on-the-first-date

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

You’re brimming with excitement as you prepare to go out on your first date with that interesting guy. The mystery and intrigue of the unknown makes those first encounters with a dating prospect exhilarating and full of possibility. But what do you do when you soon discover during your meeting with him that he’s not really boyfriend material? This scenario is one of those dating dilemmas that is often mishandled, and it’s important to approach these potentially awkward and difficult moments with savvy.

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/first-date-dilemmas-when-hes-not-your-type 

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

You know the scenario. You go out on a first date with that incredible guy who seems like he meets all your criteria for good boyfriend material and you both seemingly had a great time. You maybe even got a kiss and exchanged lots of flirtatious banter that raised your hopes that maybe it was “true blue” this time. But then he falls off the face of the earth despite his claims that he’d call you back for a second date. There is nothing more frustrating, right? What happened to integrity? Worse yet, now you can’t get the injustice off your mind, ruminating about what went wrong and why he isn’t returning your phone calls or e-mails and it’s making you feel crazed and depressed. I hear from lots of forelorn men that have experienced this all-too-common situation that is unfortunately a part of dating who can’t seem to shake their disappointment and upset. What’s a guy to do?

Click on the following link to read the full article:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/my-perfect-gay-boyfriend

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

I often get letters from men asking how to go about maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner after they’ve broken up, and this is no easy endeavor. But it is possible! In fact, this scenario is quite commonplace in the gay community. When some of us feel disengaged or removed from our own biological families, our friendships and lovers become families-of-choice that comprise wonderful additions to our support network of positive attachments and affiliations. They give us a sense of membership and belonging that we often times may not experience within our own lineage. What follows are some tips on how to go about navigating this tricky relationship alteration:

Click on the following link to read the full article: http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/staying-friends-with-an-ex

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Dear Dr. Brian:

I’ve been dating a guy now for 3 months and for the past few weeks, we haven’t been getting together as much and I don’t hear from him as often because he says he’s busy. I’ve asked him about it and he says he has a great time with me and looks forward to spending time together, but that he’s busy or tired. His cell phone seems to be off a lot more now than it used to be. Should I move on? Is he just saying that to be nice, or is he not interested in me anymore? I’m so confused! Help! read more >>

I was interviewed a few weeks back by Rick Lugash of “How to Master the Inner Game of Gay Dating” , a new site on Facebook that’s dedicated to providing helpful content for gay singles to promote more success in dating. I’m a big fan because I think we share similar visions and there’s some great articles and interviews posted that you should check out if you’re single and looking for Mr. Right. I tried to upload the podcast here for your convenience, but unfortunately the file size was too much for my site, so you can check out my interview and sign up to be a member of their Facebook Group on their Page if you like here .

The discussion deals with the impact that one’s sexual behavior can have when you’re dating and on a quest to find “The One.” It’s certainly a controversial topic for sure! What are your thoughts on casual sex when on the pursuit for a meaningful relationship? Does it help or hurt the cause? What are the boundaries, if any? Post your opinions below and let’s see what we all think about this tricky matter (pun not intended)…

Cheers,

Dr. Brian

Dear Dr. Brian:

I tend to be a possessive person and have a hard time trusting my partners.  I’m not sure where this insecurity comes from, but I’ve been burned pretty badly in the past from prior lovers who cheated on me. I’ve recently started dating someone new for the past couple of months. Between me not being able to trust him and his own religious beliefs of not having sex until marriage (we’d been having it all along), he decided he needed a break. It’s been a week now and I still haven’t heard from him. I told him I would wait for him to contact me, but I really miss him and want this to work out. What should I do? read more >>

Hi Dr. Brian:

I recently ended an 11-year relationship and met someone who was the catalyst to give me the courage to do so. He wasn’t the cause for the demise of my relationship, but only after meeting this new guy that I began to see what my life could be like and realized all that I had been missing. I am often plagued with insecurities and lack of trust and I certainly don’t want these feelings to ruin the beginning of something with this new man. He is very independent, and has never really been in a long-term relationship before and seems to require a lot of time alone. I, on the other hand, am someone who longs to be near the person I am with and at times like to have my own personal space. What is your advice on giving someone their personal space but helping him to see that spending time together is equally important to forging a strong bond and the foundation for a successful and lasting relationship? read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

I’m 23 and met a guy that I like a few months ago. I tried to kiss him on the second date, but he refused. Since then, I’ve been getting mixed signals from him. He calls me and we talk for hours on the phone. But when I’m alone with him in-person, he treats me as a friend and nothing more.  Why does he talk to me for hours on the phone when he knows how I feel about him? read more >>