Welcome to The Gay Love Coach’s Blog:  \

Your portal for Dating, Relationship, & Sexual Enrichment Skills and Strategies

Question: Can two bottoms in a monogamous gay relationship make it work? The answer to this….a resounding yes! But this will also depend on what you put into the relationship, as well as the attitude that goes along with it. I recently wrote an article about top/top couple pairings, and you can read about this here: http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/can-there-be-two-tops-in-a-relationship

It’s quite interesting to me the increase in questions that have been coming in about the viability of top/top and bottom/bottom relationships, and it’s actually something that’s concerning to me. One of the advantages about being gay in our culture is that we don’t have to be bound by rigid, stereotyped roles. Since we don’t have a template for how our relationships “should” be structured in the way that our straight counterparts do, we have the freedom and flexibility to create and tailor our relationships according to our own wishes, preferences, and talents. What’s concerning is that we seem to be dichotomizing our relationships and sexual roles through a binary lens that not only limits our potential, but also limits the available dating pool.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/bottoms-can-two-bottoms-make-relationship-work

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

So what do you do when the object of your desire is a gay man who is “in the closet” about his sexuality? Are these dating relationships viable? Generally speaking, the prognosis for relationship success tends to be stronger when gay men are of similar “outness” statuses. There tends to be less tension and friction due to the mutual positions they hold with sexual identity comfort. For example, in situations when one man is “out” and the other is “closeted”, the more “out” man often times feels like he has to slip back into the closet to accommodate his partner and this can feel like he’s going backwards in his personal development and can lead to resentment. The more closeted man can often times feel pressured to be more visible and exposed before he’s emotionally ready to handle those situations and can cause a spike in anxiety, and perhaps even withdrawal and disengagement from the relationship.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/are-you-dating-the-closeted-hottie

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Dear Dr. Brian:

I’m a very quiet guy when alone. All my friends say when people first meet me, people feel like I’m about to beat them/kill them. They say it’s the way my eyes are, but I don’t know how that makes guys so afraid of me.

I’m not bad looking, bit overweight, not particularly tall (just 5 feet 9 inches), so I don’t why this seems to drive men away in fear.

How do I stop being creepy?

-Jay

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/q-and-a/im-a-quiet-guy-how-do-i-stop-seeming-creepy

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

Dear Dr. Brian:

I have borderline Asperger syndrome, anxiety/panic/depression that is controlled by meds and PTSD.

The Asperger’s forces me to disclose everything whether its appropriate or not. I’m a hopeless romantic with all of this baggage. I usually torpedo things by the third date.

Is there any hope for me?

-Frank (Rhode Island)

Click on the following link to read the response: http://www.datingadvice.com/q-and-a/im-a-hopeless-romantic-with-baggage-is-there-any-hope-for-me

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

Dear Dr. Brian:

I am 48 and I’ve not had any luck with getting any dates when I go on to gay dating sites. Can you help me?

-Thomas (Indiana)

Click on the following link to read the response: http://www.datingadvice.com/q-and-a/i-havent-had-any-luck-online-can-you-help

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

Dear Dr. Brian:

How do I meet men on dating sites, but I’m pretending to be straight?

-Daniel (Tennesse)

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.
The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

One of the biggest dating traps for gay men is becoming romantically interested in straight men. Many a storyline has been written in porn about the seduction of gay and straight men in various sexual scenarios, and this can certainly be hot from a dramatic and titillation standpoint. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this because our attractions are unique to each of us and all of us are able to appreciate beauty, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Click on the following link to read the rest:   http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/the-dangers-of-being-attracted-to-straight-men

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

 

So let’s say you’ve been dating this great guy for a while and then things start to go south. Maybe you’ve been arguing a bit more. Or perhaps you feel a bit more distant and disconnected from each other lately. Or maybe the sex isn’t as good as it once was. One of the most excruciating dating dilemmas is having to make that difficult decision of whether to salvage a relationship or terminate it. These situations are made that much more torturous when you recognize that your partner is really a “good catch” and that you have a lot in common with mutual attraction. But yet something seems off and you’re really torn about what to do, not wanting to make a horrible mistake that you’ll regret for the rest of the your life.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

 

What do you do when all that’s on your mind is getting back together with your ex-boyfriend? Perhaps you made a premature judgment and terminated the relationship before you allowed it to mature. Or maybe you made a mistake and had an indiscretion that resulted in his leaving you. Whatever the scenario, fantasies about a reconciliation can drive you crazy without a game plan. What follows are some insights and tips for how to go about reaching out to your ex in an attempt to win back his affections and start over on a clean slate.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/6-ways-to-win-an-ex-back

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

 

Did you hear the news about the young Russian girl who tattooed the name of her new boyfriend she’d met online on her face after their first date? If not, here’s the article with photos: http://www.webpronews.com/face-tattoo-after-first-date-girl-has-bfs-name-inked-2013-02 . There’s been a controversial debate about this all over the Web, with some respecting the girl’s right to make decisions about her own body and others shaming her for making an impulsive choice that has now permanently “disfigured” her…all in the name of love.

As gay men, we’re no strangers to prejudice and ostracism. As a marginalized group, many of us learned from a young age to protect ourselves against homophobia, and therefore may be more armored to cope against social backlash and empowered to do what we want to do with our lives. This news story, however, brings out an important question that gay daters must contemplate as they search for love. What would you be willing to do for love? How far would you go?

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/all-in-the-name-of-love-id-tattoo-my-face-for-you

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.