Introduction

One of the most common complaints I receive from single gay men about the dating scene is their frustration and pain of wearing “the battle scars” of mistreatment at the hands of other men they’ve met for potential friendship and dating. “Why doesn’t he call me back when he says he will?” “Why did he say he was interested and then I find him online cruising for other guys?” “I found out Mr. Wonderful was married!” “These guys are so rude and crass in those Internet chatrooms!”  These are just a few of the many scenarios described by many singles who report feeling jaded by the actions of their fellow gay brothers who have slighted them or made them feel “less than” as they navigate their way through the dating jungle. read more >>

Dear Coach:

My ex and I broke up a couple of months ago, but since then  he’s continuously trying to get in touch with my friends and me  through email, text, calls, Facebook, etc. He won’t leave me or my friends alone!

If I block him online,  then he just make a new email.  It’s getting kind of ridiculous and annoying, and just generally not right. What makes it worse is that whenever he gets in contact with me or  anyone else he’s constantly lying about me, and when he does reach me, he just keeps telling me about everything in his life  and I just dont want to hear it. I have no idea how to just stop him. Any advice would be awesome, thanks. 

Harrassed read more >>

Dear Coach:

I am new to gay dating and have my first date coming up soon. I’ve 
never been on a date with a man and there are a few things I’ve always 
wondered about. Who pays?

We met online and both drive at least an hour to reach each other, he 
drives further, so do I pay? Or do we pay for each other or ourselves? 
I am very confused about that! Also, do I bring him a gift to be 
romantic? We talk on the phone a lot and if I was dating a girl I 
would bring her a rose, but would that just be weird to bring a guy a 
flower or candies or something? I really like him and want to impress 
him! Do I pull his chair out? Or is that a little ridiculous? We have 
already stated no sex on the first date, but is a kiss okay? If I give 
him a kiss right when I approach him I think that sets the wrong tone, 
but I don’t want to seem like a prude either!

If you could put my mind at ease on these silly frivolous things, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks, Jittered read more >>

Dear Coach:

I have met a GREAT guy and we spend every moment together and have a lot of fun. After 5 weeks of dating we kissed, and a week later we had non-stop sex for four days straight. His ex found out that he was starting to see a new guy (me!) and decides to mess with his head. They got into a big fight and now the ex is out of the picture again and the guy I’m seeing realizes that he was trying to sabotage him. We are still spending a lot of time together and he has asked me away on a trip for New Year’s Eve, which I have accepted. read more >>

When you’re on the dating scene, it can seem overwhelming trying to remain centered on staying true to your personal requirements for a compatible partner and potential relationship when you have so many competing forces vying for your attention. Not only do you have to keep the other parts of your life (work, family, friends, recreation, etc.) in balance and attended to, but you also can become easily distracted and confused when you meet a variety of men as potential dating prospects who trigger various forms of chemistry and attraction within you that may or may not necessarily align with your vision for an ideal partner. For example, have you ever been in a situation where you met a totally hot guy who filled you with feelings of lust and were tempted to continue seeing him despite the fact you saw “red flags” of his incompatibility with your values? Yep, we’ve all been there and it can create all sorts of inner turmoil and indecision if you let it. read more >>

It can be pretty challenging trying to locate and meet compatible dating partners that mesh with your personality, value system, and attraction needs. These difficulties can be compounded for gay singles. It’s not that easy to differentiate who is straight or gay at the local supermarket, let alone who is single and available. Or what if you’re not into the gay bar scene? What if you don’t have access to a gay community because you live in a rural area or if your lifestyle doesn’t place you in situations where you would have much exposure to other gay singles? It’s tough! Thankfully, the advent of the Internet has given singles yet another venue to access each other with the presence of personals and matchmaking sites. These are all not created equal, however! read more >>

Introduction

One of the most common concerns that come through my service from gay singles is the difficulty they speak of securing dates with quality and compatible men; and sometimes it’s even just landing a date of any kind! Invitations for sex seem more readily accessible and the frustration and disappointment is the predominant emotion experienced by these relationship-minded singles who have good heads on their shoulders and are ready and available for love, but just can’t seem to find others who mirror their desire for substance and depth in their involvements. read more >>

Introduction

When you have an online dating personals ad, much of the initial communication and interaction that you will have with a potential dating prospect is primarily through the written word—mainly via e-mail or online chatting. As our society continues to embrace technology as a preferred mode of communication, the traditional “courtship” process has been forever altered when it comes to getting to know someone for potential dating. The lack of face-to-face contact in the very beginning and early stages of online dating can be advantageous as a relatively safe screening period to determine possible compatibility before moving ahead to the more vulnerable direct in-person contact. This can save a lot of time and energy and aids in boosting confidence about meeting someone new. However, it’s also a very impersonal mode of communication fraught with many missing elements that can make this screening process more challenging. For example, the inability to read body language is a major obstacle, as is the difficulty in being able to gauge whether any actual physical chemistry exists between the two people. read more >>

Introduction

So now you’ve met a new guy who you really like and you both are eager to begin exploring the potential that exists in your new dating relationship. This is commonly called “the honeymoon phase” of a relationship and is definitely an exciting and invigorating time. It’s a time of aliveness where the attraction you have for your new boyfriend prospect bubbles over, causing you to think about him and wanting to be with him every waking second. The separation pangs when you are apart nag at you and distract you from your daily tasks. You ache to be with him and find yourself preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of what “could be” that fuel your desire even further. read more >>

Dating a Guy with a Lot of Notches on His Bedpost

Question: I’ve been single for a while now, mostly because I’m choosy. However, one of my friends introduced me to a friend of his, and we really hit it off. He’s everything I want—smart, funny, charming—and it’s also the most amazing sex I’ve ever had. The bad new is this: As I continue to get to know him, it’s become clear to me that he has slept with just about everybody I know. Look, I don’t want to pass judgment on that, but I have to be honest, there’s a part of me that feels like he’s a total slut. The good news is he says he’s really into me, has acknowledged his past, and says he wants to be monogamous with me. I really want to get behind that and trust him, but am wondering how I am going to get past this, you know? read more >>