Dear Dr. Brian:

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 12 years and over this period of time, we have both been unfaithful. My partner is very well-endowed and an exhibitionist and enjoys showing off his penis to others. Last week we were driving home from visiting friends when he suggested we stop off at a local cruising area. I agreed, but deep down I felt really sick about it. He ended up getting a couple guys to give him oral sex and I was very hurt and upset by this. Sex with him has become boring and it’s very much one-sided and he has no sense of adventure with me. I’m becoming more and more frustrated and am beginning to feel like the relationship may not last much longer. What do you suggest?

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Introduction

Question: At what point does a dating relationship turn sexual if you’re looking for a lasting relationship?

The reader posing this question goes on to say that in his experience, sex too soon in a dating relationship seemed to make the connection all about sex, while waiting for an extended period of time resulted in men perceiving him as a “tease” or being uninterested in them for anything but just friendship.

So what’s a guy to do? When is the right time to have sex so as not to sabotage the development of a potentially healthy relationship with a compatible dating prospect? Well, the long and the short of it is that there is no right time! There’s no science or magic formula to negotiating the right time to be sexual to guarantee lasting success. There are no guarantees in relationships. What it boils down to is each individual’s readiness and comfort level with taking things to that next step and keeping the channels of communication open.

So while there’s no hardfast rule, this article will offer some tips and questions for reflection for you to decide when the time is right for you to take things to the “bedroom level.” Through this content, perhaps you will discover some factors that might promote the opportunity for success of a long-term relationship that you can integrate into your own dating plan and sexual decision-making practices. read more >>

Introduction

“To have sex or not to have sex, that is the question.” While it’s certainly important to have a healthy sexuality when you’re single, how you negotiate your sexual behavior as a gay man if you’re on a “boyfriend hunt” can definitely have an impact on helping or hurting your cause. Have you ever gone out on a date that seemingly went really well to then be utterly confused when the guy doesn’t ever call you again after you’ve slept together? Or what if you’re in-between relationships, what role does sex play in your life? What do you do if that hot guy asks you back to his place after your first meeting? Are one-night stands ok?

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