Question: Can two bottoms in a monogamous gay relationship make it work? The answer to this….a resounding yes! But this will also depend on what you put into the relationship, as well as the attitude that goes along with it. I recently wrote an article about top/top couple pairings, and you can read about this here: http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/can-there-be-two-tops-in-a-relationship

It’s quite interesting to me the increase in questions that have been coming in about the viability of top/top and bottom/bottom relationships, and it’s actually something that’s concerning to me. One of the advantages about being gay in our culture is that we don’t have to be bound by rigid, stereotyped roles. Since we don’t have a template for how our relationships “should” be structured in the way that our straight counterparts do, we have the freedom and flexibility to create and tailor our relationships according to our own wishes, preferences, and talents. What’s concerning is that we seem to be dichotomizing our relationships and sexual roles through a binary lens that not only limits our potential, but also limits the available dating pool.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/bottoms-can-two-bottoms-make-relationship-work

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

I often get letters from guys who are in the throes of dating relationships with men of the same sexual role preference (two tops, the ones doing the penetrating during sex, and two bottoms, the ones being penetrated) and find themselves experiencing frustration and conflict when their sexual fulfillment takes a hit and their needs are unmet. This is a common scenario and can create strain in an otherwise perfectly compatible partnership when everything is aligned just right except the bedroom satisfaction element.

Click on the following link to read the rest:   http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/can-there-be-two-tops-in-a-relationship

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Here is an interview I did with Harry Faddis on his radio show “The Quest of Life” where I share some insights into some research I did on the sexual behavior of gay men, including commentary on the apparent decrease in condom use, as well as the roles of honesty and integrity in relationships.

http://www.qolpodcast.com/qol/TheQuestOfLife/Entries/2013/6/28_Brian_Rzepczynski__Sexual_Secrets_of_Gay_Man.html

I was interviewed by Ian Bassingthwaighte from Esquire Magazine for an article in their sex column in the publication’s December 2010 issue. It was about the concept of “the power bottom” as it pertains to gay sexuality. Unfortunately, it didn’t make the official pages of the magazine, but below are the questions I was asked with my corresponding answers. read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

I am somewhat embarrassed to ask you this question, but I figured you would be a great person to ask. I have a HUGE foot fetish and get turned on by men’s feet. Where does a foot fetish come from? I believe we are born with our sexual orientation–so is this something that we are just born with or something that may develop over time? I remember liking men’s feet since I was like 4 years old.

Mr. Foot Guy read more >>

Can Two Tops Date?

Question: I met someone recently and the attraction was immediate. He’s amazing, and we also have everything in common—we just look at each other googley-eyed all the time. We’ve messed around a few times already and it’s so passionate. But here’s the problem: we’re both tops. And I don’t mean versatile tops, I mean we’re both 100% tops-tops. We’ve talked about this, but the issue does seem to have put up some sort of barrier between us. See, for now, it’s fine and it’s not a big deal. But if this relationship actually goes somewhere, which I think it might, this could become a really big deal. Do I end this now, or do I stick with it and try to work it out. And how the heck do I work this out? read more >>

Dear Coach:

I recently broke up with my partner of 21 years; I’m 46 and he’s 50. It’s been quite a roller coaster of emotions and I’m struggling with the following question: Is it selfish of me to ask my partner to have sex even though we are not together? We both still spend a lot of time together because of some prior family obligations to wrap up. We never cheated on each other when we were in our relationship and he broke up with me mainly because I’m unorganized, manage my money poorly, and he feels that I used him. Since then, I’ve been in the process of organizing my life, working a full-time job and paying my own house bills and only ask for help when I can’t fix something around our former house. I’m depressed and frustrated and scared to venture back into the gay dating world. I’m not ready to find another sexual partner yet, and I don’t think he is either. He says he’ll never want to be in another relationship with someone again, whereas I really want him back and wish I’d only listened to him when he tried to communicate to me about our problems.

Sex With An Ex?

read more >>