Question: Can two bottoms in a monogamous gay relationship make it work? The answer to this….a resounding yes! But this will also depend on what you put into the relationship, as well as the attitude that goes along with it. I recently wrote an article about top/top couple pairings, and you can read about this here: http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/can-there-be-two-tops-in-a-relationship

It’s quite interesting to me the increase in questions that have been coming in about the viability of top/top and bottom/bottom relationships, and it’s actually something that’s concerning to me. One of the advantages about being gay in our culture is that we don’t have to be bound by rigid, stereotyped roles. Since we don’t have a template for how our relationships “should” be structured in the way that our straight counterparts do, we have the freedom and flexibility to create and tailor our relationships according to our own wishes, preferences, and talents. What’s concerning is that we seem to be dichotomizing our relationships and sexual roles through a binary lens that not only limits our potential, but also limits the available dating pool.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/bottoms-can-two-bottoms-make-relationship-work

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

I often get letters from guys who are in the throes of dating relationships with men of the same sexual role preference (two tops, the ones doing the penetrating during sex, and two bottoms, the ones being penetrated) and find themselves experiencing frustration and conflict when their sexual fulfillment takes a hit and their needs are unmet. This is a common scenario and can create strain in an otherwise perfectly compatible partnership when everything is aligned just right except the bedroom satisfaction element.

Click on the following link to read the rest:   http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/can-there-be-two-tops-in-a-relationship

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Have you seen DatingAdvice.com’s lastest study that says gay Americans are more likely to kiss on the first date than our straight counterparts? If not, check it out here. What are your thoughts on why this might be the case? Equally striking is the amount of gay men who report their dislike for this form of affection and intimacy. Why would this be? For me, there’s no bigger turn-on!

Click on the following link to read the rest:   http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/lay-big-one-kissing-tips-gay-dater

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

I’ve had an influx of readers and clients lately who have finally met the man of their dreams and are happily paired in a new dating relationship (after what seems like a lifetime of trying to find him), only to be disappointed and distressed when they discover the sex has gone flat and they’re struggling in the bedroom. They are thrilled to have Mr. Right in their lives, but they miss the sexual highs and adventure of their single life.

Click on the following link to read the rest:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/im-batman-youre-robin

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Here is an interview I did with Harry Faddis on his radio show “The Quest of Life” where I share some insights into some research I did on the sexual behavior of gay men, including commentary on the apparent decrease in condom use, as well as the roles of honesty and integrity in relationships.

http://www.qolpodcast.com/qol/TheQuestOfLife/Entries/2013/6/28_Brian_Rzepczynski__Sexual_Secrets_of_Gay_Man.html

Despite our knowledge about HIV/AIDS and other sexually-transmitted infections these days, recent studies (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/06/gay-men-partner-survey_n_3223447.html) point to a decrease in condom usage among gay and bisexual men. Why is this happening in spite of our knowledge of safer sex education and of the lethality that can be involved with contracting HIV?

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/how-to-make-safe-sex-hot

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Another common gay dating dilemma revolves around whether to have sex on the first date or not. This has often been a controversial subject among gay men, with opinions being  split right down the middle. There’s not necessarily a right or wrong answer, as these types of scenarios are rarely ever black-and-white. The decision as to whether to “hit the sheets” after having had a superb first date before the night is over is a personal one, fraught with uncertainty about the impact that being intimate so soon after meeting can have on the potential for securing a second date and beyond. Before reaching that point-of-no-return, it’s important to conduct an evaluation or a cost/benefit analysis of both the positive and negative ramifications of such an action. It’s also important to weigh this dilemma against your personal values system and to determine if being sexual early in the game is in alignment with your vision of what you’re looking for.

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/should-you-have-sex-on-the-first-date

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

A study by the University of Michigan asserts that when gay male couples make and keep sexual agreements, this can be an effective HIV prevention strategy. However, according to the study results, more than half of the couples in the sample acknowledged breaking their agreement. Here is an article about the study:  http://www.datingadvice.com/studies/saagcm

What are your thoughts about this?

I was interviewed a few weeks back by Rick Lugash of “How to Master the Inner Game of Gay Dating” , a new site on Facebook that’s dedicated to providing helpful content for gay singles to promote more success in dating. I’m a big fan because I think we share similar visions and there’s some great articles and interviews posted that you should check out if you’re single and looking for Mr. Right. I tried to upload the podcast here for your convenience, but unfortunately the file size was too much for my site, so you can check out my interview and sign up to be a member of their Facebook Group on their Page if you like here .

The discussion deals with the impact that one’s sexual behavior can have when you’re dating and on a quest to find “The One.” It’s certainly a controversial topic for sure! What are your thoughts on casual sex when on the pursuit for a meaningful relationship? Does it help or hurt the cause? What are the boundaries, if any? Post your opinions below and let’s see what we all think about this tricky matter (pun not intended)…

Cheers,

Dr. Brian

Dear Dr. Brian:

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 12 years and over this period of time, we have both been unfaithful. My partner is very well-endowed and an exhibitionist and enjoys showing off his penis to others. Last week we were driving home from visiting friends when he suggested we stop off at a local cruising area. I agreed, but deep down I felt really sick about it. He ended up getting a couple guys to give him oral sex and I was very hurt and upset by this. Sex with him has become boring and it’s very much one-sided and he has no sense of adventure with me. I’m becoming more and more frustrated and am beginning to feel like the relationship may not last much longer. What do you suggest?

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