You know the scenario. You go out on a first date with that incredible guy who seems like he meets all your criteria for good boyfriend material and you both seemingly had a great time. You maybe even got a kiss and exchanged lots of flirtatious banter that raised your hopes that maybe it was “true blue” this time. But then he falls off the face of the earth despite his claims that he’d call you back for a second date. There is nothing more frustrating, right? What happened to integrity? Worse yet, now you can’t get the injustice off your mind, ruminating about what went wrong and why he isn’t returning your phone calls or e-mails and it’s making you feel crazed and depressed. I hear from lots of forelorn men that have experienced this all-too-common situation that is unfortunately a part of dating who can’t seem to shake their disappointment and upset. What’s a guy to do?
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© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
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“Well, it was really nice meeting you, bud, but I don’t really think we’re a match. Good luck to you though!” –or- “Yeah, it was fun! I’ll call you!” –and then the call never comes.
Sound familiar? We’ve all been there at one time or another. You know, that stabbing feeling of being unwanted that’s so hard to shake when it strikes. Yep—rejection! Rejection of all forms is a natural part of being human, from being declined for a job or being refused participation in a certain club. But as a single guy on a quest for a life partner, rejection is an inescapable given in the dating world as you search for a compatible counterpart. There is no way around it!
Now in this article, I’m not going to sugar-coat things and say “just get over it” or “it’s his loss if he doesn’t want to date you.” This type of common advice minimizes the impact rejection really has. The truth of the matter is that rejection sucks! It hurts, it’s no fun, and it can be difficult to swallow at times. But while rejection can be a nasty experience, it is a fact of life that needs to be accepted and embraced in order to survive and triumph over its effects. There’s no easy formula for overcoming the fear of rejection, but what’s offered here are some tips for making the most of it and taking on a new perspective to help you forage on and prevent it from holding you back from accomplishing your relationship goals and dreams.
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