Dear Dr. Brian:

Not too long ago I met a guy in a culinary festival. The guy is from the U.S. and was part of a study for a semester program in PR.

The thing is we met the last five days of his exchange program and in the little time we spent together, I felt like we connected really well. I ended up liking him very much to the point where I can’t stop thinking of him.

We have maintained a good communication via phone and occasionally Facebook, but sometimes I feel lost and insecure about hoping for something that there might never be a chance for.

Is it worth giving it a shot?

Click on the following link to read the response:

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

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The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions


Nothing pains the heart more than being separated from your honey. You worked really hard to find Mr. Right and build a fulfilling life with him over the years. You’ve encountered and conquered so many challenges together and relish in the romance and richness of being a committed couple. You view the rewards of your partnership as great and can’t wait to share more experiences that will further enrich your relationship. That’s the vision that most happy couples report!

But what if you and your partner don’t live together and are physically separated, perhaps living on opposite sides of the globe? Maybe a job or a family crisis has forced you apart. Perhaps it’s just a temporary departure from each other; for some, the situation is permanent and must be adapted to. Whatever the circumstance, maintaining a long-distance relationship can be very difficult and taxing for couples. But while this scenario can be challenging and put a relationship to the test, it can be done and there are scores of people that are in this predicament and make it work successfully. This article will shed some light and offer some tips for coping with the “long-distance relationship blues” so that you can continue to nourish and strengthen the bond with your man and promote its longevity and satisfaction. Nothing compares to having your partner by your side but there are ways to overcome the obstacle of distance and still keep your relationship alive and well!

Dear Coach:

I am an HIV+ gay man living in France and recently traveled to the States on business. During my stay, I had the glorious pleasure of getting to know a beautiful man I met off an Internet dating site, and to say that we really hit it off would be an understatement! We only had a week together, but it was one of the most magical times of my life. The sex with him was the absolute best I’ve ever had! Then wham! Vacation over! Now I’m back home in France and feel like crying. I want him. I think about him every single day. We talk on the phone about four times a week, e-mail each other, and post each other letters and cards. I have a long-distance relationship going here! He’s planning on coming to visit me this summer and I can’t wait! My dilemma is that I want to be with him, as I believe he may be my Mr. Right. I’m impatiently waiting for him to say the magic words “I love you”, but he hasn’t yet and he focuses on the fact that we live so far apart. If he asked me to drop everything and move to America, I wouldn’t hesitate. On the other hand, if I asked him to leave everything and join me in France, he’d have a difficult time with the language barrier. The scary part is that as an HIV+ person whose medications are all taken care of by socialized medicine here, it would be rough going to pick up and move to the States. He is HIV+ also and has very good health coverage through his employer. What am I to do? He lives in a very homophobic state, while here in France, civil-unions for same-sex couples have been legal for 5 years and you can feel safe holding your boyfriend’s hand in public. Plus there are so many social advantages here too. As you can see, my head is muddled with all these conflicting thoughts. My heart says go and my head says that I don’t really know him well enough to give up everything I’ve built here. It’s been so long since I felt like I met someone who I truly felt was a good match for me. Help me get my feet back down on the ground!

Floating In France