Introduction

Particularly with the legal sanctions that exist against gay marriage, moving in and living together is a big step and important rite-of-passage for a gay couple. It can symbolize the development and maturation of their relationship, as well as express the sense of a deepening commitment to each other and desire for more definition as partners.

However romantic it may seem to “shack up,” it’s a huge life-changing decision that shouldn’t be made lightly or on impulse. It requires a lot of forethought and preparation or you could be setting yourselves up for a lot of drama, stress, and pain. This article will offer some tidbits of information on cohabitation and lend you some questions for contemplation to assess your true readiness for “taking the plunge” as live-in lovers. Then some suggestions will be made to help foster a smoother decision-making process for you and your guy.

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Dear Gay Love Coach:

My partner and I just bought a house together. We are very excited about it and feel like it is a new exciting phase in our relationship. However, we can’t seem to agree on design choices for the house. Conversations about the subject lead to what seems like a competition over who has more free time to get projects done, and we both seem to think that the other wants to take over the house as our own. We’re acting like Alpha Males trying to mark territory and split it down the middle instead of thinking of it as a joint project and expression of our journey together. How can we get past these defensive feelings of entitlement and enjoy our new home together?

Thanks,
Frustrated Homo-ner

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