My partner and I have been together for 20 years and are very much in love.  We are both very successful. I am out with friends and family. He is not out with his family – or at work.  We have a house together. When he is on the phone i have to remain silent so as to not be  heard.  He often gets dragged out  to events after work because nobody knows he has someone waiting for him.  When his family comes to visit – I move into a hotel for a night or a few days. read more >>

Dear Coach:

My boyfriend seems to have a television addiction.  We met earlier 
this year, and he moved into my house a couple of months ago.  
Although my boyfriend does participate in a group sporting activity 
one day during the work week, his greatest interest is watching 
television from the time he comes home until the time goes to sleep.   read more >>

Introduction

You know how it is. You and your guy have been together for a long time now, way past “the honeymoon period” characteristic of the early stages of a relationship. You know each other inside and out and have worked hard to build a satisfying and comfortable lifestyle together as a committed couple. You’ve become settled into a familiar structure and routine in your lives. Life is great! And it is! The love, companionship, and security that a partnership offers can be like no other and is one of the benefits of being in an intimate relationship. But beware…these same benefits can also put your partnership into jeopardy with subsequent boredom, feelings of being taken for granted, and eroticism decline in your relationship if you fail to consistently attend to the needs of your partner, yourself, and your relationship. read more >>

Dear Coach,

 I find myself turning to masturbation too much because my partner & I do not have sex. He tells me it is due to medical issues that tend to diminish or extinguish his ‘drive’ while mine is completely functional. I have lived with this situation for a long time, but it is starting to frustrate me and yet I dont want to give up on a good relationship. Every time I talk to him he says he wants to get it fixed but doesn’t do anything about it. I know he’s not lying about the medical issues. I feel like a ‘bad’ person because I use porn and other things to help me get relief when I need it. What do you think?

Sexually Stalemated read more >>

My partner and I have been together a while, and everything’s great with him. However, for some time I have been thinking seriously about becoming a sperm donor. I want to continue my line, and I wouldn’t be involved in raising the child at all. So why is my partner so completely against the idea? Is my relationship more important than my legacy? Should I do it behind his back? Help!” read more >>

I cheated on my boyfriend and I’m not sure what to do. We talked about having an open relationship and he was adamantly against it—I was for it, did it anyway, and now I feel guilty as hell. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to lie either. What do I do? read more >>

Introduction

As gay men, you’ve struggled through and endured all the challenges inherent in finding true love with another man in this homophobic society, but you did it! You found your Mr. Right! So now what?! read more >>

Introduction

Probably the number one question I get asked most often by gay couples is, unsurprisingly, “How do I make my relationship better?” So, in line with the holiday and beginning of a New Year, I thought I’d write a short blurb that lists some possible action steps you might take to improve your partnership in the coming year. We’ve all heard of making personal New Year’s Resolutions like “I’m going to lose weight this year” or “I’m going to go to the health club more often”, but what would happen if we expanded upon that concept and created Resolutions for our relationships as couples? read more >>

Introduction

So what makes a healthy and lasting long-term gay relationship successful? Our society certainly doesn’t make it easy for us as gay men to date and mate with all the homophobia and discrimination that exists. Though this is slowly starting to change in many parts of the world, man-to-man love continues to be stigmatized and this backdrop of cultural oppression and hatred can put a strain on a gay couple’s budding relationship that many heterosexual pairs may take for granted. As a gay community, we lack adequate and visible positive role models of gay couples that provide hope for lasting relationship success. As men, we’ve been conditioned to define our masculinity in rigid and narrow ways as part of the socialization process growing up and this can create conflict when pairing up two individuals of the same gender looking for intimacy and emotional connection. And then we have our own layers of discrimination and pressure in our own gay community that at times can leave gay couples feeling unsupported and uninspired to achieve relationship longevity in the one place they thought they’d be safe—among their own. read more >>

Dear Coach:

I am in my late 30’s and my partner and I have been together for 10 years. From the beginning, my family welcomed him with open arms. My partner has struggled for years to come out to his family and only just this past year told his mother that he was gay and in a long-term relationship. The only reason he came out to her was because I had a business trip to the city where she lives and he came with me; I sort of pushed the issue so I could finally meet her. She’s a wonderful woman and was totally open, accepting, and loving, but my partner remains uncomfortable. read more >>