You know the scenario. You go out on a first date with that incredible guy who seems like he meets all your criteria for good boyfriend material and you both seemingly had a great time. You maybe even got a kiss and exchanged lots of flirtatious banter that raised your hopes that maybe it was “true blue” this time. But then he falls off the face of the earth despite his claims that he’d call you back for a second date. There is nothing more frustrating, right? What happened to integrity? Worse yet, now you can’t get the injustice off your mind, ruminating about what went wrong and why he isn’t returning your phone calls or e-mails and it’s making you feel crazed and depressed. I hear from lots of forelorn men that have experienced this all-too-common situation that is unfortunately a part of dating who can’t seem to shake their disappointment and upset. What’s a guy to do?

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© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Have you struggled in your efforts to snag a decent, quality guy for a dating relationship? Do you tend to be drawn to the same types of men over and over and become frustrated when they disappoint or when it doesn’t materialize into a satisfying long-term arrangement? This is a very common phenomenon in dating difficulties and it can become very easy to place the focus on the “other guy” for the reason behind a relationship’s failure to get off the ground. Since we don’t have control over changing another person and we only have power over our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it’s important to consider that we ourselves are the common denominator in our disappointments in the mating game. It’s important to pull back and channel our energies into identifying any possible role we may be playing in our struggles to increase our odds of success in the future.

Click on the following link to read the full article:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/dating-relationship-re-enactments

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Dear Dr. Brian:

I tend to be a possessive person and have a hard time trusting my partners.  I’m not sure where this insecurity comes from, but I’ve been burned pretty badly in the past from prior lovers who cheated on me. I’ve recently started dating someone new for the past couple of months. Between me not being able to trust him and his own religious beliefs of not having sex until marriage (we’d been having it all along), he decided he needed a break. It’s been a week now and I still haven’t heard from him. I told him I would wait for him to contact me, but I really miss him and want this to work out. What should I do? read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

My problem is that every guy I go out with ends up finding me very sexy and they always fall in love too fast. Even though I care about them too, there’s no “chase” and then I lose my sex drive. The more they “hit on” me, the more I question that they are (a) not attractive enough; (b) have low confidence, which is a turn-off for me; (c) are emotionally needy; or (d) their feelings appear to me to be a feminine trait, and in turn I lose sexual interest. I want to be in a relationship, but I lose all desire after about 3 months of being with someone. I also don’t cheat because that’s not my style. Why do I always get turned off when a guy falls in love with me and what can I do about it? I don’t like the “feminine emotional attachment” that a guy in love with me has.

Hot Guy Can’t Fall in Love read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian,

I’m an experienced dater who is dating someone quite shy. Things have  been going well over the last several months, and I’ve been well-behaved and considerate. I’ve also been sure to live my own life while getting caught up in all the feelings associated a budding  “interest.” While things are going well, I’ve vocalized my “like” for him, when in fact, I’ve got some pretty strong feelings for him. He’s so shy and  quiet, I’m scared to turn him off. And, he’s never been in a  relationship before.  So, do you have any advice? I feel as though there is a communication deficit and I’d like to bridge the gap, encouraging him  to express what it is he might feel for me, while respecting his gentler nature. read more >>

Introduction

One of the most common concerns that come through my service from gay singles is the difficulty they speak of securing dates with quality and compatible men; and sometimes it’s even just landing a date of any kind! Invitations for sex seem more readily accessible and the frustration and disappointment is the predominant emotion experienced by these relationship-minded singles who have good heads on their shoulders and are ready and available for love, but just can’t seem to find others who mirror their desire for substance and depth in their involvements. read more >>

Introduction

I’m so fed up with being a “nice guy” and getting nowhere for it. I continue to be perplexed by my situation and want to understand better why others act the way they do, what I am doing wrong, and what things I can do to improve myself. I’m not perfect and don’t pretend to be. I’m not a model, but I’m often told by people that I’m “hot” and how nice and sweet I am. I am passionate and good in bed and believe I have a good personality and sense of humor. I have my own place, a new car, a great job, and I’m very successful in my career that holds a lot of promise for more growth and success. So I guess my biggest question is why am I alone? I treat the guys I have gone out with really well. Yet, it never seems to be enough. I just want to build a life with someone who has ambition, dreams, and who will love me and look out for me as I would for him. — Gay Man, age 29 read more >>

Introduction

“Guys suck! I’m never going to find a decent one who wants more than a one-night stand!”
“All the good ones are taken!”
“I’m not attractive enough to land myself a boyfriend”
“Gay men and relationships just don’t mix. Why even bother?!”

Do you ever think such thoughts? If you’re single and on the market for a boyfriend, it certainly can be easy to get jaded and develop these and many more pessimistic thoughts about the gay dating scene. Especially when it seems like you’ve done just about everything to promote your “dateability” and consider yourself a “good catch”, yet still fall short of accomplishing your goal or vision, negativity can seem to just flow out automatically as you vent out your frustrations and try to make sense of the injustice of it all. But while it may seem natural at times to move toward this way of thinking in your upset, one must be very careful trudging in this territory because it can be detrimental to your well-being. read more >>

Introduction

I was recently interviewed by freelance writer Caroline Stanley from MSN.com for a cover story she was writing about dating “player-types”. This article includes the content that I contributed for her research into this topic. This article will shed some light on the profile of a “player”, provide some tips for the “ex-player” to promote successful dating relationships without letting his past destroy genuine opportunities, and suggest potential warning signs for the gay dater that might signal that the guy he’s seeing might actually be a “player.” read more >>