When you break up with a boyfriend, it can feel like your whole world is crashing down around you as you try to make sense of what’s happened, while trying to keep yourself together as you go through this adjustment. You are grieving, and like a death, you will likely go through the various stages of grief (shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, per the famous Kubler-Ross model). In an ideal world, both partners would sit down and discuss their relationship, “life review” style, highlighting their strengths and weaknesses and processing their feelings about what went wrong. They would be able to forgive each other for any hurts and mistakes made and find a way to say goodbye to each other that would officially close the book on that chapter of their lives before parting ways. A nice and clean ending like this isn’t always possible though.

You know the scenario. You go out on a first date with that incredible guy who seems like he meets all your criteria for good boyfriend material and you both seemingly had a great time. You maybe even got a kiss and exchanged lots of flirtatious banter that raised your hopes that maybe it was “true blue” this time. But then he falls off the face of the earth despite his claims that he’d call you back for a second date. There is nothing more frustrating, right? What happened to integrity? Worse yet, now you can’t get the injustice off your mind, ruminating about what went wrong and why he isn’t returning your phone calls or e-mails and it’s making you feel crazed and depressed. I hear from lots of forelorn men that have experienced this all-too-common situation that is unfortunately a part of dating who can’t seem to shake their disappointment and upset. What’s a guy to do?

Click on the following link to read the full article:  http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/my-perfect-gay-boyfriend

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

I often get letters from men asking how to go about maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner after they’ve broken up, and this is no easy endeavor. But it is possible! In fact, this scenario is quite commonplace in the gay community. When some of us feel disengaged or removed from our own biological families, our friendships and lovers become families-of-choice that comprise wonderful additions to our support network of positive attachments and affiliations. They give us a sense of membership and belonging that we often times may not experience within our own lineage. What follows are some tips on how to go about navigating this tricky relationship alteration:

Click on the following link to read the full article: http://www.datingadvice.com/advice/staying-friends-with-an-ex

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

Dear Dr. Brian:

I met my ex-boyfriend while living abroad and, according to him, it was love at first sight. Everything went wrong when we moved in with his parents. We would constantly fight, we became insanely jealous, we’d even get physical.

On Christmas he decided to go on a trip with his friend. He met another guy who he had sex with. He accepted he cheated on me, but that wasn’t the reason he didn’t want to be with me anymore.

I went back and confronted him and it was not the person I knew anymore who I saw. It was a hateful and resentful guy who wanted nothing to do with me. I would like to be able to have a conversation with him again. I just want to be able to be in peace and somehow let him know I loved him with everything in me.

What should I do?

Click on the following link to read the response: http://www.datingadvice.com/q-and-a/he-cheated-and-i-want-to-talk-with-him-what-should-i-do

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

Dear Dr. Brian:

I dated a guy for five years. He told me he would get out of his relationship with a guy he was living with for 10 years. We hit it off great and he was happy with me. I don’t know why he just dropped me and told me he would let me know when he is single. He doesn’t email me anymore or call. It is coming around a year and I can’t get over him and move on.

In the gay world, have I been played? Any ideas on how to get over someone you love so much? I was so set he was the right one.

Click on the following link to read the response:  http://www.datingadvice.com/q-and-a/i-cant-move-on-how-do-i-get-over-him

© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

www.thegaylovecoach.com

This particular article is not for re-publication in other e-zines, magazines, or websites as DatingAdvice.com owns the rights to this material in partnership. Any questions or consent to do so is required by that organization.

The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed.None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions

Dear Dr. Brian:

I have broken up with my boyfriend due to his internet porn hook-ups. But I still love him and wish we could be together. It seems like all he wants from me is sex, but I know deep-down he wants more from our relationship but doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for me with his self-esteem issues and problems going on in his life. I need to be on my own now, but is it wrong for me to be yearning for him?

Loveless

read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

I am dealing with the break-up of a 9-year relationship and am trying to get on my feet again. He won’t deal with me anymore, but says he still cares about me. It’s really confusing because he’s so cold and distant one minute, and then being endearing the next. It hurts to me to no end to see him going out with other guys and I wish he would be a man and tell me what he wants rather than sending me all these mixed messages. Everyone tells me to leave him and move on, but I can’t help wondering if he’s just going through a midlife crisis or something. What should I do?

Broken Up read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

I tend to be a possessive person and have a hard time trusting my partners.  I’m not sure where this insecurity comes from, but I’ve been burned pretty badly in the past from prior lovers who cheated on me. I’ve recently started dating someone new for the past couple of months. Between me not being able to trust him and his own religious beliefs of not having sex until marriage (we’d been having it all along), he decided he needed a break. It’s been a week now and I still haven’t heard from him. I told him I would wait for him to contact me, but I really miss him and want this to work out. What should I do? read more >>

Dear Dr. Brian:

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and reconciled with his ex-boyfriend. This came as a complete shock and completely tore my heart apart. It’s something neither of us expected he could ever do. We were together for over 7 months and blissfully happy, even having committed to moving in together a couple months ago at his suggestion. It’s almost been a month since our breakup and I don’t know what to do. read more >>

Dear Coach:

My ex-boyfriend wants to get back with me after a recent breakup. Should we reconcile? read more >>