Regrettably, all advice requests are temporarily on-hold until after June 2010 due to Brian’s final stages of his doctoral degree program.  Brian remains available for telephone coaching sessions, however. Please send your inquiries for this service to brian@thegaylovecoach.com . Thank you for your understanding and advice responses will resume after that time.

Dear Coach:

I’m in a new relationship with a great guy.  We’re still in the dating 
stage.  During intimacy, I have times when I’m unable to end by 
cumming.  It frustrates me more than it does him.  What can I do? read more >>

My partner and I have been together for 20 years and are very much in love.  We are both very successful. I am out with friends and family. He is not out with his family – or at work.  We have a house together. When he is on the phone i have to remain silent so as to not be  heard.  He often gets dragged out  to events after work because nobody knows he has someone waiting for him.  When his family comes to visit – I move into a hotel for a night or a few days. read more >>

Dear Coach:

My ex and I broke up a couple of months ago, but since then  he’s continuously trying to get in touch with my friends and me  through email, text, calls, Facebook, etc. He won’t leave me or my friends alone!

If I block him online,  then he just make a new email.  It’s getting kind of ridiculous and annoying, and just generally not right. What makes it worse is that whenever he gets in contact with me or  anyone else he’s constantly lying about me, and when he does reach me, he just keeps telling me about everything in his life  and I just dont want to hear it. I have no idea how to just stop him. Any advice would be awesome, thanks. 

Harrassed read more >>

While this isn’t a dating or relationship question, I received this letter from a reader and was particularly struck by it and wanted to share this post with the community. Please give it a read and feel free to offer any of your own advice or suggestions to this college student seeking some direction. It’s a tricky one with multiple perspectives!

Dear Coach:

I am an 18 year-old gay guy in college who has been “out” about his sexuality for 
roughly two years. I have multiple problems that stem from one major  problem. I’m not sure if I should be “out” on Campus. I am going to a  school that is of moderate right-wing affiliation that has been endorsed by anti-gay politicians in the community, and as I’ve been doing research, I’ve noticed, they are notoriously slow at  implementing GLBT programs. The problem is, I am majoring in Medicine, so I have high hopes and great challenges ahead.

I’ve been debating that if I “come out” at my school, would that be a plus or a negative to the future of my medical career? On one side of the argument, I know I should focus 100% on my education, regardless of my orientation; on the other hand, I have  supreme leadership qualities, and I quite often do not follow the  mainstream population, and I feel, if I don’t come out, I am leaving  my fellow closeted gay friends in a bind and am enabling homophobia.  All too much, we gay men are afraid to come out and  be who we are, which, in my opinion, makes it harder for the next generation to come out. My mother insists I be closeted in college, as  she feels our state has not quite adapted to the homosexual  understanding.  read more >>

Dear Coach:

I am new to gay dating and have my first date coming up soon. I’ve 
never been on a date with a man and there are a few things I’ve always 
wondered about. Who pays?

We met online and both drive at least an hour to reach each other, he 
drives further, so do I pay? Or do we pay for each other or ourselves? 
I am very confused about that! Also, do I bring him a gift to be 
romantic? We talk on the phone a lot and if I was dating a girl I 
would bring her a rose, but would that just be weird to bring a guy a 
flower or candies or something? I really like him and want to impress 
him! Do I pull his chair out? Or is that a little ridiculous? We have 
already stated no sex on the first date, but is a kiss okay? If I give 
him a kiss right when I approach him I think that sets the wrong tone, 
but I don’t want to seem like a prude either!

If you could put my mind at ease on these silly frivolous things, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks, Jittered read more >>

Dear Coach:

I have met a GREAT guy and we spend every moment together and have a lot of fun. After 5 weeks of dating we kissed, and a week later we had non-stop sex for four days straight. His ex found out that he was starting to see a new guy (me!) and decides to mess with his head. They got into a big fight and now the ex is out of the picture again and the guy I’m seeing realizes that he was trying to sabotage him. We are still spending a lot of time together and he has asked me away on a trip for New Year’s Eve, which I have accepted. read more >>

Dear Coach:

My boyfriend seems to have a television addiction.  We met earlier 
this year, and he moved into my house a couple of months ago.  
Although my boyfriend does participate in a group sporting activity 
one day during the work week, his greatest interest is watching 
television from the time he comes home until the time goes to sleep.   read more >>

Dear Coach:

What can we do to spice up our sex life? I have a younger lover and I
think he is getting bored! read more >>

Dear Coach,

 I find myself turning to masturbation too much because my partner & I do not have sex. He tells me it is due to medical issues that tend to diminish or extinguish his ‘drive’ while mine is completely functional. I have lived with this situation for a long time, but it is starting to frustrate me and yet I dont want to give up on a good relationship. Every time I talk to him he says he wants to get it fixed but doesn’t do anything about it. I know he’s not lying about the medical issues. I feel like a ‘bad’ person because I use porn and other things to help me get relief when I need it. What do you think?

Sexually Stalemated read more >>