So what do you do when the object of your desire is a gay man who is “in the closet” about his sexuality? Are these dating relationships viable? Generally speaking, the prognosis for relationship success tends to be stronger when gay men are of similar “outness” statuses. There tends to be less tension and friction due to the mutual positions they hold with sexual identity comfort. For example, in situations when one man is “out” and the other is “closeted”, the more “out” man often times feels like he has to slip back into the closet to accommodate his partner and this can feel like he’s going backwards in his personal development and can lead to resentment. The more closeted man can often times feel pressured to be more visible and exposed before he’s emotionally ready to handle those situations and can cause a spike in anxiety, and perhaps even withdrawal and disengagement from the relationship.
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© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach