The decision to reconcile with an ex-boyfriend is one that requires much forethought. A breakup with him occurred previously for a reason and you want to avoid re-enacting old patterns and dynamics by jumping back in too quickly or when the decision is emotionally-driven. This is something that involves a lot of individual reflection, as well as pointed communication with your ex.
One of the questions you want to ask yourself is “Why do I want to get back with him? Why now?” It’s important to explore your motives for wanting to reconnect to ensure they are healthy and pure. If you both have grown personally and made some changes that have strengthened your maturity and responsibility, that might be a positive indicator to consider the situation further. If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety about being alone, or fear not being able to find another partner, these would be deemed unhealthy reasons and would be indicative of potentially setting yourselves up to get hurt again. “Am I truly into him or the idea of being with him?” You want to be truly honest with yourself about what lies beneath your desire to get back together.
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© Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach
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