My partner and I have been together a while, and everything’s great with him. However, for some time I have been thinking seriously about becoming a sperm donor. I want to continue my line, and I wouldn’t be involved in raising the child at all. So why is my partner so completely against the idea? Is my relationship more important than my legacy? Should I do it behind his back? Help!”
Answer:
Be careful about making any rash, impulsive decisions here as it seems like a lot more individual soul-searching and dialogue with your partner is needed before you move forward with anything. Firstly, examine your motives about becoming a sperm donor to ensure you’d be doing it for the right reasons. Also consider any implications of doing so and then not having any contact with your child. Could you realistically do that without regret? Explore with your partner what his concerns are about this issue—what does he feel threatened or scared of and address these underlying feelings as they may be symbolic of other issues in your relationship. Seeing a counselor for help in sifting through these personal and relational issues might be advised. If your partner is unwilling to compromise on this issue, it puts you in a difficult “ultimatum” position where you will have to choose between your partner or your dream. Do not go behind his back as this would be viewed as a sign of betrayal and could sabotage your relationship. You will have to determine for yourself how much investment or value you have placed in either your partner or your legacy and then take responsibility for following through with your decision with integrity.
Loading ...